Overcoming Mental Barriers
Dealing with Setbacks How to Keep Going When Life Gets Tough
Setbacks. We all face them.
You’re cruising along, feeling good about your progress, and then—bam! Life throws a wrench into your carefully laid plans. Maybe it’s an injury, a work deadline that demands all your attention, or a family emergency. Whatever the case, your momentum screeches to a halt, and it feels like you’ve lost all the progress you worked so hard for.
It’s tempting to give up, isn’t it? To tell yourself, “What’s the point?” or “I’ll start again when things settle down.”
But let’s be real—life rarely “settles down.” It’s in these moments, the tough ones, that true growth happens. Dealing with setbacks is less about avoiding them and more about learning how to rise above them.
Here’s how.
1. Understand That Setbacks Are Normal
First things first—setbacks aren’t a sign that you’re failing. They’re a sign that you’re human.
Think about anyone you admire. Did they reach their goals without facing challenges? Of course not. Setbacks are part of the journey, not the end of it.
Take Serena Williams, for instance. She’s one of the greatest athletes of all time, but her career wasn’t a straight path to glory. Injuries, defeats, and personal challenges constantly tested her resolve. What made her stand out wasn’t the absence of setbacks—it was her ability to keep going despite them.
Instead of viewing setbacks as a roadblock, see them as detours. A chance to reassess, recalibrate, and come back stronger.
2. Take a Pause, But Don’t Quit
When life feels overwhelming, it’s okay to hit pause. Rest isn’t the same as giving up—it’s a necessary part of the process.
Imagine you’re hiking up a mountain. You wouldn’t climb nonstop without taking breaks, right? Sometimes, a pause is exactly what you need to gather your strength for the next leg of the journey.
But there’s a difference between pausing and quitting. Quitting means walking away from the trail altogether. Pausing means you’re still committed—you’re just catching your breath.
Actionable Tip: Instead of throwing in the towel, scale back. Can’t commit to an hour-long workout? Do 10 minutes. Can’t meal prep for the week? Prep for just one day. Small steps keep you moving forward.
3. Reframe Your Setback
Setbacks feel so defeating because of the stories we tell ourselves about them.
“I’ll never catch up.”
“I ruined everything.”
“I’m just not cut out for this.”
Stop. Take a moment to challenge those thoughts.
Instead of, “I’ll never catch up,” try, “This is just a bump in the road.”
Instead of, “I ruined everything,” say, “One setback doesn’t erase my progress.”
Instead of, “I’m not cut out for this,” remind yourself, “I’ve come this far, and I can keep going.”
Your mindset shapes your reality. By reframing the way you think about setbacks, you turn them from insurmountable obstacles into manageable challenges.
4. Reflect on What Happened
Setbacks aren’t just obstacles—they’re opportunities to learn. But only if you take the time to reflect on what went wrong.
Ask yourself:
- What triggered this setback?
- Was it something within my control, or outside of it?
- What can I do differently next time to prevent or handle a similar situation?
Reflection isn’t about beating yourself up. It’s about gathering insights so you can approach your journey smarter and stronger.
Example: If you stopped working out because your schedule got too busy, maybe the solution is finding shorter workouts that fit into your day. If stress derailed your eating habits, perhaps it’s time to learn stress-management techniques.
5. Celebrate the Wins You’ve Already Had
When setbacks happen, it’s easy to forget how far you’ve already come. You’re so focused on what went wrong that you overlook everything you’ve done right.
Take a step back and reflect on your journey. Maybe you’ve lost 10 pounds, or maybe you’ve simply built the habit of going to the gym twice a week. Whatever your wins are, big or small, they matter.
Reminding yourself of your progress boosts your confidence and motivation to keep going.
Actionable Tip: Write down three things you’re proud of achieving so far. Keep this list handy for when you’re feeling discouraged.
6. Lean on Your Support System
You don’t have to navigate setbacks alone.
Reach out to friends, family, or accountability partners who understand your goals and can help you stay on track. Sometimes, just venting to someone who gets it can lift a huge weight off your shoulders.
Consider joining a community of like-minded individuals. Whether it’s a fitness group, an online forum, or a workout buddy, surrounding yourself with supportive people can make all the difference.
7. Revisit Your ‘Why’
Why did you start this journey in the first place?
Your ‘why’ is your anchor. It’s what keeps you grounded when the seas get rough. Maybe you want to be able to keep up with your kids, feel confident at a high school reunion, or reduce your risk of health problems.
Whatever your ‘why’ is, reconnect with it. Write it down. Stick it on your bathroom mirror or make it your phone background. Keeping your reason front and center will help you stay motivated, even when setbacks try to derail you.
8. Adjust Your Goals (If Necessary)
Sometimes, setbacks happen because your goals were too ambitious for your current circumstances. And that’s okay. It’s better to adjust your goals than to give up on them altogether.
For example, if your original goal was to work out six days a week, but your schedule makes that impossible, scale back to three days. Progress is progress, no matter how small.
Remember: Goals are flexible. They’re meant to guide you, not stress you out.
9. Build Resilience Through Small Wins
Resilience isn’t something you’re born with—it’s something you build. And the best way to build it is through small wins.
Each time you overcome a challenge, no matter how minor, you’re proving to yourself that you can handle whatever life throws at you. These wins add up, boosting your confidence and motivation over time.
Actionable Tip: Start with one small goal each day. Maybe it’s drinking an extra glass of water, doing five minutes of stretching, or going to bed 10 minutes earlier. Celebrate each win, and watch your resilience grow.
10. Keep the Big Picture in Mind
Setbacks can feel overwhelming because they make you lose sight of the bigger picture. You get so focused on what’s going wrong right now that you forget about your long-term vision.
Take a step back. Remind yourself that one setback doesn’t define your journey. It’s just one chapter in a much larger story.
Final Thoughts: Progress, Not Perfection
Setbacks are inevitable, but they don’t have to derail your progress. By reframing your mindset, reflecting on what went wrong, and taking small steps forward, you can overcome any challenge life throws your way.
Remember: The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is progress. And as long as you’re moving forward—even if it’s just an inch at a time—you’re winning.